A Modest Suggestion

    Want to do something fun today? Go to a restaurant! But be sure to make a reservation beforehand, even though that of course doesn't always mean you'll have a table held for you once you get there.  And after waiting an hour to get seated, why should you ever expect immediate service? Checking twitter and instagram is obviously more important than serving a customer.  Plus, you're not even hungry, so please let them take their time.  After another thirty minutes, it would of course be ridiculous of yourself to ask about the dishes on the menu.  I mean, how could you not have known that in order to dine here you must know exactly what a "tortano" is or a "shuizhu" is. Silly you! But no worries, next time you'll know to study precisely what each dish is comprised of and come prepared.  And now, after they've only taken another half an hour to get your meal (not long at all) you find that they mixed up your order. Don't worry! You completely understand, after all, it is your fault.  It's often hard to comprehend what you've repeated five times when you asked them, "to please substitute the meat with vegetables". You should have said it at least three more times, I mean what were you thinking? And when you finally get to the check, it's okay that they charged you for a meal you didn't order, you will pay for it anyways.  You know you're so grateful that that they provided you with such wonderful service; how could you have been so lucky? You'll be sure to tell all your friends about their amazing restaurant and especially their remarkable staff. What a great day!